How to Get Away With Lying

It may be an unpopular opinion, but I’ve always wanted to be a good liar. I always fail at any attempt to get away with even the most minor white lie. Tragically, I am left with the only option: to be honest. Who doesn’t want to maneuver lies with ease and catch others with no moral conscience? With a quick Google search, one can find universally recognized indicators of a liar: ………the use of vague language, the repeating of basic questions, incomplete sentences, and frequent fidgeting. In all honesty, these indicators just make me feel like I need to stop being lazy when explaining a story and be less deaf. Regardless, there is more that goes into finessing a lie.

To elaborate on such ideas, we interviewed East’s professional lie detector of kids, Erik Sinclair. East Dean Mr. Sinclair refused to reveal all his tricks in identifying a lying student, however, he illuminated specific dead giveaways of deceitfulness. He explained, body language capitalizes on a bad liar. For instance, avoidance of eye contact and overt fidgeting indicate a nervous and therefore lying student. Notably, if a person finds themselves lying, whipping out the Rubik's cube or slime in their backpack will be counterproductive in proving their case. In addition, long pauses are direct indicators of being mendacious. Therefore, having one’s story straight might just be the difference between receiving a Dean’s look of disappointment in contrast to receiving their wrath. Side note, there are cameras all over East. Meaning, before lying about stealing a friend's pop tart or licking the lockers, just know the deans check security daily. Notable advice, if a person is willing to make the journey and lie, MAKE IT A GOOD LIE. For instance, a person should not lie about smoking a joint, if they smell like they just smoked a joint (Mr. Sinclair has the nose of a bloodhound). Alike, someone should not lie about what floor they are supposed to be on when the color-coordinated hall pass in their hand indicates what floor they are supposed to be on. Awareness of these methods can save a student from the humiliating embarrassment of simply being a bad liar.

While many perceive lying to be necessary for certain situations, lying is helpful only momentarily. According to Mr. Sinclair, “habitual lying will make your life worse” and I agree. While many East students try to avoid confrontation with deans, truthfulness and owning up to one’s mistakes actually define a better-liked person. Important to note when caught lying to another person, dishonesty threatens the trust and respect that live in a relationship. Therefore, being deceptive not only damages the liar’s own self-growth, but it disrespects the very essence of the individual being lied to. And once that trust is broken, that is a point very few people can and ought to recover from.