By Maddy Levin
I’ll be the first to say it: I hate Valentine’s Day. The whole holiday is a scam created by Hallmark set at draining you of your pennies and peace of mind. Still, I can’t complain because (lucky me) I have a Valentine this year. In a turn of events, I’ve started to warm up to Valentine’s Day but I refuse to buy a single flower or chocolate box for my boo thang. My presence will be all my partner is getting for this holiday, sorry darling.
That being said, if you’re still looking for a sweetheart to share your cheap candies and crappy cards with, here are a few pick-up lines sure to get the job done:
- Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I couldn’t imagine a better person to spend Valentine’s Day with,
This is a perfect pick-up line for your crush, significant other or pet, if you’re that lonely. Call this poem Xfinity because it’s simple, easy and awesome. Bonus: I wrote this one from scratch.
- Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?
This is one for all my confident kings, queens and non-binary royalties. Show off your stuff with a strut and a smile with this pick-up line.
- If you were a chicken you’d be impeccable
While this is a great pick-up line for chickens, use this with caution if you are a human. Some people will take offense if you compare them to a chicken.
- I’m studying to become a historian. I’m especially interested in finding a date.
Cheesy and intellectual, this pick-up line is sure to wow both historians and your potential Valentine. Just have your calendar open when you deliver this line, it’s sure to get you a date.
- Are you a loan? Because you sure have my interest!
I’m not going to pretend like I know anything about banks or loans or interest for that matter, but I will say this pick-up line is sure to knock the socks off whoever you’re trying it on. But if they don’t like it, leave them a-loan.
- They say nothing lasts forever–would you be my nothing?
This one may get you some stares but it’s certainly creative. If they say no, you have nothing to lose.
- I hope our love will be like the number Pi: irrational and infinite.
This one goes out to all my math lovers out there. I hope you nerds find a date, you all deserve it. (This was written by a social sciences-lover. Math sucks!)
- You’re so beautiful, you made me forget my pick-up line.
Perfect for all my forgetful friends, this one is sure to get their number in your phone. Everyone loves a good compliment!
- You look like trash, may I take you out?
While this pick-up line is funny, you really shouldn’t use it unless you want to get slapped into next week. For some odd reason, people don’t like to be called trash. Weird.
- Are you related to Yoda, because Yodalicious.
Whether you’re a Star Wars fan or not, this pick-up line is sure to woo your date. It’s perfect for all occasions, especially if you’re eating something delicious with your partner.
Okay, maybe I’m not a romantic person or the best at giving love advice but I can assure you these pick-up lines will secure you a Valentine’s Day date (just don’t hold me accountable for that statement). Good luck lovers, and happy Valentine’s Day!